Wedding anxiety can be a pain in the neck if you do not know how to do away with negativity. I know wedding preparations can be stressful and anxiety stares you in the face. Anxiety is always that feeling of worry which makes you feel uneasy. This feelings brings fear into you and makes you want to keep postponing your wedding date.
Trust me when you allow your mind and soul to succumb to some negative thoughts, it can be destructive. Anxiety during wedding preparation is probably gaining traction these days. Wedding is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Young people ripe for marriage being afraid of organizing their wedding. The say it costs a lot. For brides the imagery of having that perfect body. They are anxious of having a perfect wedding as well as having a perfect life and most importantly family stress because of the expectation of both families especially when both couples have different culture and beliefs. The idea of having every eyes glaring at you can be pretty intimidating.
An article by Roy Baymeister and Dianne Tice in the journal of clinical psychology says,
“Anything that defines the self as useless, incompetent and inadequate may bring anxiety, for it raises the possibility that the group might reject one as incompetent”
So what do they do? Keep postponing. Shift dates forward or avoid setting a date indefinitely waiting for windfall but you know wisdom is good because it gives direction.
So let me put your mind at ease. There are simple ways of conquering your fears and make you surefooted as you plan for probably your happiest day yet your wedding.
My first point,meet with a planner.
Trust me the best way to deal with anxiety related to wedding is to meet with a trusted professional planner. Wedding planers have existing relationship with vendors making it possible for easier negotiations. The idea of planning a wedding can be very overwhelming, so it is incredibly very useful to have a safe hand planning your wedding for you. This is why you need to read my blog on “why you should hire a professional event planner” It is a great resource to have a trusted planner help you manage your big day. Like i will always say planners are there to relieve you off stress and help you save money.
My second point, plan withing your means
It is unwise to spend the money you do not have and keep paying debts months or even years later after the wedding day. It is wrong to start married life like that. so my advice, plan within your means. Never use the wedding of a friend or relation as a standard. Your wedding or marriage is no popularity contest.
Thirdly. work with your partner to establish a budget
The wedding or marriage is not about you. So work with your partner to agree and establish a firm budget. If your spouse is the flamboyant, very sociable type. Never worry. Patently, persuasively allow her to see things from your viewpoint especially if she earns more than you. This of course is addressed to the groom.
Fourth point, be open with your in laws.
Discuss your concerns with both families amicably and be patient enough for them while you work out the best solution with them. Let your approach be calm and not forceful. Don’t give them a wrong impression. From get go, let them know your financial status without “saying so” verbally. What i am saying is, learn to keep a low profile. If you give them the impression that you are a spendthrift. Then you should not complain if they load your list.
I am particularly talking to you guys here. However, some in-laws just do not care. They just load the list, anyway. But the wise thing to do is, politely state what you can afford and what you can’t.
Point five, be calm and accept help.
The pressure can make you feel tensed and sometimes irritated especially when you notice the deadlines looming but you need to get yourself together and put a big YES to people who offer to help out because people genuinely want to be there for you. Just get in touch with them and trust me you will feel a lot better. It is also important that you have one or two people you can always turn to for support through out your preparations and wedding day.
My sixth point, focus more on the marriage.
This long range view will help you keep the main thing. See yourself spending the rest of your life with the true love of your life. That feeling and anticipation would choke any fear or phobia. it is good for couples to always encourage each other during this period because of the pressure surrounding it. This makes you less worried and relaxed to achieve your wedding goals. The tendency for brides to freak out is more than the groom. It is good to let your partner know how super excited you are about the wedding, so it does not mean you are not.
My last point, take days to relax and do not feel bad about it.
It can be hard to see yourself idle because you feel there is no time left. Since your planner is there to help you actualize your goal and you have delegated task, giving yourself a break is necessary and just fine for you. You have to feel yourself during this period and make sure you do your favorite activity that will make you happy and relaxed.
Being fearful or timid does not come from God. Rather, you need to be bold and courageous. Take that step today and you will be surprised at the outcome you will get.